Sometimes, I feel this immense pressure to have it all figured out by now—like somehow, my not-all-knowing brain has let me down. Throw in a thyroid condition, a fast-paced life, and the weight of everyone’s expectations I let myself be buried under, and it’s a recipe for disaster. One that feels like it keeps failing me.
I feel like I’m running on empty because I skipped breakfast. I’m constantly adding more tasks to my plate when I should be nourishing my body and cutting down on my workload for my family.
You still love, you still give, but not whilst running on empty—that’s asking for too much of anyone.
The Struggle of Doing It All: Why We Struggle to Prioritise Ourselves
Recently, I found myself questioning the point where I decided it was normal to burden myself with so much. If my child carried this weight, I’d be the first to tell them to let it go. So why am I so bad at doing the same for myself?
Maybe you can relate because you feel you don’t have enough support around, or maybe you’ve always done it all and never thought twice about how different things could look for you?
It’s that sinking feeling of envy mixed with frustration. Why do they get to relax while I’m rushing through life? Why am I constantly on the go?
My mind spirals—am I doing something wrong? Am I not managing my time well enough?
This relentless pressure to ‘do it all’ eats away at me. And yet, I don’t know how to let it go.
The Pressure to Do It All
And so- there I was, in this fast-paced, pressure-filled world, trying to do it all—when all I was really craving is more peace. I rush into the shops for “just a few things” (which turns into a full cart—standard), and as I leave, I pass a café where people are actually sitting. Chatting. Drinking hot coffee.
I started to think—how do they have time for that? If I ordered a coffee, by the time it was cool enough to drink, my toddler would’ve knocked it over, eaten my complimentary cookie, and left me exhausted before I even took a sip!
But seeing them there, so calm, so content, I feel this wave of What the actual F*? That should be me.
Are we missing out on all the fun by trying to do too much?
This is the weight of mum guilt. The pressure to be everything, to everyone, all at once. But at that moment, I realised something had to change.
And let me tell you—it’s not a pretty thing to realise you have a first-world problem and are jealous of someone sitting at a café enjoying a cappuccino!
That was the moment I decided:
I’m done rushing.
That’s no way to live.
I’m fed up with feeling fed up.
I want to be present. Happy!
“Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions.” – Dalai Lama
I always think happiness is just part of my nature—I’m a pretty joyful person. But I’ve learned that it’s not just a choice—it’s a skill. (Thank you, Mel Robbins, for her amazing podcasts that always give off those lightbulb moments. If you haven’t listened to her podcast on this, I highly recommend it: (Happiness Is an Option for You).
The thought of practicing happiness to live a happier life? That hit me hard.
This was one of the biggest wake-up calls of my life.
Happiness isn’t something I wait for—it’s something I create.
I remember sitting there, feeling the weight of it all.
The missed moments, the endless rushing, the constant striving for more because I was so busy chasing happiness that I forgot I could just choose it. Right here, right now.
I have full control of that?
YES.
Sometimes, life throws us some heavy things or hard times.
But how we choose to see and respond to those moments—that’s where our true character is built.
It’s like everything clicked, and the tears just started.
Sometimes, it takes a moment of vulnerability to truly understand the strength we hold inside.
Crying when you need to? It’s not a weakness. It’s human. It’s a release. Let it all out—it’s part of healing
Let me say this from the heart-
We need to stop piling so much pressure on ourselves.
The only person we need to answer to is ourselves.
The only one we need to impress is ourselves.
The only standards we need to meet are our own.
It’s time to release that weight because you’re already doing more than enough!
10 Tips to Cope Under Pressure
- Give Yourself Permission to Rest – It’s okay to take a break without feeling guilty. Your worth isn’t measured by productivity.
- Set Realistic Expectations – Don’t hold yourself to impossible standards. Done is better than perfect.
- Ask for Help – It’s okay to lean on others. Whether it’s family, friends, or local services, asking for support doesn’t make you weak. In fact, it shows strength.
- Learn to Say No – Politely declining can be liberating. “I can’t make it this time” is a complete sentence.
- Practice Self-Compassion – Talk to yourself as you would to your best friend—gently and without judgment.
- Create a Supportive Environment – Declutter your space and set boundaries to reduce stress triggers. For me, this meant letting go of the pressure to have a spotless house all the time. I chose to prioritise mental peace over perfection. Maybe for you, it’s saying no to certain commitments or creating a ‘quiet corner’ just for yourself. Whatever it is, make your environment work for you—not the other way around.
- Prioritise Self-Care – It’s not selfish. Even a five-minute breather can make a difference. And speaking of self-care, our CMH Beauty Guide is packed with tips and recommendations to help you feel your best, inside and out. Check it out for some easy self-care routines and beauty must-haves here
- Challenge Negative Thoughts – Notice when you’re being hard on yourself and reframe it. For example, when I catch myself thinking, “I’m failing at this mum thing,” I remind myself that I’m learning and doing my best. It’s not about being perfect; it’s about progress.
Try swapping harsh judgments with kinder, more realistic affirmations. It’s a game-changer. - Find Your Village – You don’t have to do it alone. Connect with others who understand and uplift you. Join local support groups or find a community that resonates with your journey: How to Make Mum Friends.
- Seek Professional Help When Needed – If you’re feeling overwhelmed, reach out for support. Here are some crisis services in Camden: Crisis Support Services.
Guilt is a thief!
Guilt robs us of joy, of peace, of precious moments. It tells us we’re not enough. But the truth is—we are enough, exactly as we are. We don’t have to do it all to be good mums. We don’t have to sacrifice our happiness to prove our love. In fact, our happiness is a gift to our children because It shows them what living fully looks like.
Missing your kid’s school carnival because you have to work? That doesn’t make you a bad mum.
Maybe you’re the kind of mum who makes up for it with extra-long bedtime stories.
Maybe you’re the mum who shows up to every other event and cheers the loudest. Or maybe, just maybe, you’re one of the millions of mums who work so hard to provide for your family, and that in itself is an act of love.
Because at the end of the day, our happiness and peace depend on it. No one else can take those steps but US.
We’ve got this! Love J!
Send this to a mum who’s doing a great job right now.